I kept asking myself why I always do things differently. I always fall for someone who don’t deserve me at all. I kept pretending that something is up when nothing is going on. I am so attached to all the events that may lead me broken.
Thursday, was not the conversation I was expecting and I thought that I had enough of my craziness. I been waiting for him for almost 6 weeks and nothing is happening. I need to do something. Something that I will put everything behind me and never think of anything.
Focusing one thing is so hard. I need to commit! I am thinking of changing myself to divert my attention on something that is breaking me. I need to gain that self confidence that I lost a long time ago.
I am revisiting the old conversation we had to Andy’s and to Danny’s. Little by little I am realizing that nothing is special. I am just moved by the momment of excitement and I guess I am overwhelmed. I cant seem to find the things I need to find. I am missing something..
I hope on the coming days I will be able to realize what I need to realize. I wanted to change something on myself and on my perspective. I am trully sad that I was not able to get what I want. Backing up is the only option I have right now.
I like listening to Christina Perri song “Arms”. I can relate to this song and the feeling is so sad. I hope I can find the persob who can knocks me down and will not let me go. Putting his arms around me makes me feel home.